The Ari. Toast.

Why the Toaster?

My parents were advised by a Greek friend at my birth to name me 'Aristos': "The Best". However, they were hesitant, as they assumed people would call me 'Toast' for short. So 'Ariston' was the name of choice.

While spending a summer off from college learning a little bit of Greek, I came across something interesting: the word 'ariston' means 'breakfast.' So, to avoid being toast, part of this complete breakfast, I'd become the entire meal.

However, I feel that the 'toast' metaphor is very appropriate, as, like a toaster, I can take something plain, white, and boring and turn it into something magical, like toast. Additionally, like a toaster, I'm only responsible for some 75% of all kitchen fires.

Pronunciation Guide

A lot of people, for whatever reason, find other people's names difficult to pronounce correctly. My name is certainly not exempt from their misguided attempts, so please take a moment to learn the correct pronunciation. I would do the same for you if you had such a difficult name.

'Ariston' is pronounced as per its Greek heritage, not according to the modern, incorrect, English way of pronouncing words with a root in the Greek 'aristos'. Rather than starting out as if you're saying 'aristocracy', with a long 'A' as in 'air,' start as if you're pronouncing 'oddball,' or as if you're a pirate ("Arr, me mateys!"). Accent the first syllable and pronounce it 'Är-is-t&n. (The & is a schwa sound. Think as if it's a ton of bricks.) It's simple enough.

'Ari' is the preferred way of addressing me for millions of people worldwide. Its pronunciation follows easily enough from that of 'Ariston'. Keep the accent, drop the st&n, and change the 'i' to sound like a long 'E'. If that doesn't make sense, then you can just pretend my name is spelled "R. E." and you're pronouncing the letters in quick succession, with the accent on the "R.". Thank you for your consideration.

Pretty Picture of a Toaster

There is no really good explanation for this part of the page. My site is short on graphical elements, this is a pretty picture of a toaster, my page uses the word 'toaster' several times, and this is the solution. There's really nothing like the feeling of elegantly solving a difficult problem.